Lei’s official Weblog

Now people in the west are becoming increasingly aware of the Chinese new year, tomorrow is the new year’s day, so I will expect some people saying ‘happy new year’ to me, and asking how Im going to celebrate. In fact, I rarely celebrate for any festivals, I have not given much thought for this new year neither, it’s likely that I won’t do anything for it tonight and tomorrow. But it’s annoyinng that I have to try to come up with some fake answers in order to sound not too anti-social when people ask. I have already been blamed by my mother for being too cold-blooded because I don’t keep contact with my relatives and call them to wish them well on festivals. I already said to her that I really don’t care about any social rituals, they are all superficial to me. But she told me that what matters is that other people care and I should consider their feelings, and should not be too selfish. In fact, she even got so angry the other day while talking to me on the phone, said ‘if the whole world is full of people like me, then there would be little warmth and care between people, how sad that would be!’ Maybe she’s right, but Im also sure that if there were more people similar to me, the world would have much less mindless materialistic pursuit, less pollution, less mass psychosis, and will probably also end up with fewer terrorists as a consequence. How wonderful would that be!

But the question still is — should I make any phone calls to wish them well? But I really don’t know what to say, and how to talk appropriately. Even if I called, I must sound so fake and they would probably think that Im insincere anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I do care a lot about my relatives and friends that are close to me, but it just feels so awkward and unnatural to me to follow all the rituals. There are people who are masters of human relations, and are proficient at dealing with these sorts of things, I think they should carry on their good work. But for me, I have never been good at it, and not sure if will get any better in the future, it might be wise to focus on the things Im good at for the moment. Anyway, the whole thing has just become too silly to me, I cannot be bothered to think about it anymore.